The Answer to myspace

I think it's a damn shame that both Allen Iverson has finally been traded away from Philly and that I started this blog with the phrase I think it's a damn shame. I am not writing this as a soapbox-like venue. No. I am writing this for the following reasons...
listed in no particular order:
A.) I'm bored at work
B.) The coffee is apparently working
C.) I can't log on to myspace

Recently I have become fully addicted to myspace. Before, one could argue we dated a few times or at best, had a casual flirtation going on. But now, shit we're going steady. How do I know this? Well for starters I know that several people I went to grade school are now married or engaged. Searching for such people on myspace seems like the turning point in our relationship. It gets serious when you subsequently send them friend requests and then proceed to make really, bland, intentionally witty, but ultimately unitentionally lackluster comments on their page that start with phrases like so it's been a while, huh? and end with phrases like maybe we'll catch up when I'm home and grab a beer. In myspace, such phrases result in promises and follow-ups, but then a strange, awkward thing gets in the way. Reality. And there is no place for reality in myspace. I knew a guy who played terrible guitar and dates gals exclusively from myspace. He's a goddamn loser in real life, but I'm assuming somewhat of a stud on myspace. Shit, I make $200 grand a year and am a body builder on myspace, but in reality I make maybe $30 grand and lift dumbbells maybe once or twice a week. Just enough for my girlfriend to think she's dating a dude with legitimate muscles.
This disassociation with reality is exactly why myspace succeeds. Everyone harbors a desire to make themselves something they're not. Unless you're my friend Nick, who is so aloof that there's no way he's making this shit up. Oddly enough, Nick's myspace page is kind of boring. Not that there's anything wrong with it. The people you have to look out for are the one's who have seriously intense myspace profiles and hundreds and hundreds of friends. There was this one girl who was on myspace all the time, and in the pictures she posted, she looks pretty good. I could never figure out why a girl like that would spend so much time dicking around on myspace, flirting with dudes, and uploading pictures of her in her kitchen. Even my friend Heather commented on her good looks and asked what was up with her. But then everything made sense when I saw her in person. She is definately someone who will forever exist for me within myspace, and that's fine. Some people benefit from myspace, while someone like Nick benefits from reality.
And that brings me back to Allen Iverson. If Iverson stayed with the Sixers, he would end up being the ultimate myspace stud. But the Answer proved too big for myspace and as a result, was forced to walk away from it. So he moved on to Denver, which is the equivalent of ditching your myspace account and moving on with your life. Iverson realized what some many people will eventually realize about myspace, that taking a chance with reality will ultimately lead to bigger and better things. Like playing next to Carmelo Anthony and living in the Rocky Mountains.
So with that being said, I am officially breaking up with myspace. Not for good. Maybe just cutting back and taking it slow, leaving room for other people. It's nothing personal. I just don't like the person I've become, in both reality and myspace. We'll still hang out and go out to dinner. But from now on, we're splitting the bill.

Artist of the week: Matt Costa
Album(s) of the week: Songs we Sing Matt Costa & Overnite Encore! Lyrics Born
Team(s) of the week: San Diego Chargers & Denver Nuggets
Athlete of the week: JD Drew
Quote of the week: "I enjoy fun."
Drink of the week: Cranapple Juice

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