No one cares about your fantasy football team. Only you do.
The above statement is a common one when it comes to fantasy football. It’s like a joke about Sarah Palin or Rick Perry. Yet it’s a phrase commonly said on ESPN’s Fantasy Football podcast, one of the most popular podcasts out there. And this time of year, if you get a group of dudes together two subjects are most likely to come up: fantasy football and Ed Helms’ role on this season of The Office. Oh wait, not many people are talking about that second one. But maybe they should.
So I’ve come to this conclusion- while no one may care specifically care about yourddd fantasy football team, a person caring about their own team translates to them to caring about yours. It’s like politics. For the most part, you don’t care about other people’s political beliefs, you only care about yours. But because you care about yours, you are more likely to be interested in someone’s politics if that person shares your beliefs. It’s shop talk. It’s like how two co-workers hanging out inevitably start talking about work.
With that being said and off my chest, I feel I need to express two concerns. The first concern is my growing faith in my team. My second concern is about a certain owner in my league who “doesn’t believe in trades.” We will begin with my growing faith in Burnsy’s Dumpster Fire.
I have not officially re-named my team So, Darren Sproles, Let’s See What You Got- but it’s definitely become my team’s mantra. With the season-ending injury to Chiefs’ running back Jamal Charles, I was left with a gaping hole at the running back position. This happened in week two- too early to grab anyone decent and with any staying power off waivers, so Charles’ replacement had to come from within. Charles’ replacement was going to have to be New Orleans’ little dynamo Sproles- whether I liked it or not.
It turns out that so far- I like it. I like it a lot. Sproles has hit double digits in points every week, helping me make up for the lack of points I’m getting from my under-performing wide receivers. Sproles saving the early weeks of my season and Matthew Stafford being able to escape injury (pause to knock on wood, and then knock on wood again) have been the two surprises of the season up until this point. In fact, they have been the two major surprises of the fall so far, with Flying Fish Octoberfish beer coming in third. Because of these two dudes, I’ve now pulled even at 2-2 and dare I say it, feeling mildly optimistic about my team this year. This makes me nervous.
The subject of Stafford brings me to my second concern- the concern I have about one owner in my league rejecting a trade because he “doesn’t believe in trades.” I told two people about this and their responses were that it was A) a goddamn hippie way of looking at things and B) practically un-American. I agree with both of these assessments.
Because Stafford has been such a stud, it’s left poor Tony Romo on my bench to dream about a bunch of dudes playing hide and seek in the West Virginia wilderness. Well that’s a stud QB just sitting there, gathering dust until Stafford’s bye week. I felt it was finally time to offer up Romo to someone with the hopes of getting a quality WR in return. In the real world, Romo is a mess. In the fantasy world, Romo is at least 25 points every week. For a team that lacked a decent QB, I felt they’d be crazy to pass this up. Turns out Kenny wasn’t crazy, just stubborn. I offered Kenneth Romo and Jacoby Ford for Roddy White and Big Ben. Now I know I’ve picked up a reputation as someone prone to making ridiculous trade requests- but I felt this one was pretty straight forward and a win/win for both of us. Kenny doesn’t have a good QB, I don’t have a good WR. He is also 0-3-1.
He is also a man of wacked principles.
Trades are one of the best parts of fantasy football and to not believe in them- that makes about as much sense to me as traffic patterns in Philly. And speaking of traffic, I’m not entirely sure what all these Occupy (Insert City Here) protests are all about, but if they pick up protesting traffic, I might be inclined to join. But back to Kenny, he rejected my deal and I was forced to go back to the drawing board. This was frustrating, disheartening, frustrating again and all in all crazy mad nuts.
So those are my two concerns as we approach week five. Looking at the horizon, other potential concerns for the Dumpster Fire are the Patriots’ defense, Mario Manningham, Stafford staying injured and MJD. There is at least one concern thrown out the window- and that is talking about my fantasy team. You might not care about my team, but you care about fantasy football, so you can relate.
That’s all that matters.
That and getting someone to offer up a solid wide out for the Romo-coaster.