Part 4: can I interest you in some classy wood floors?

Yesterday I went to town.

Cleaning town.

Sorry, that was a terrible start. It was slow, maybe I was feeling you out. As the Scottish announcer for the Euro final said only a few minutes ago- not much happening here.

But so yesterday I cleaned the apartment, swiffering- I f'n love swiffering- up and down the hallway and the living room and the bathroom, even the bathroom closet. The closet has out of place royal blue tiles for a floor. The rest of the bathroom has regular white tiles. But not the closet, the small closet that smells a little weird, was full of old magazines and towels, and was where Izzy spent a good deal of his time. No sir, the closet has royal blue tiles.

So I swiffered the royal blue tiles as well.

I threw the green carpet out and right away the living room looked like a whole new place- a whole new, classy place where classy individuals hang out and talk politics and stocks and mergers. But the landlords insist that we cover up these classy wood floors with rugs because of how noisy it'll be downstairs for Cush and Stoney. Well that's understandable.

I went to Ikea, which I felt, was also understandable.

At Ikea I found a new carpet, nothing at all that flashy. Or it might be, it's two-toned and I'm not entirely sure what color the darker tone is. But oh well. I bought a couple cheap coffee mugs and a toilet bowl brush and matching holder. They are blue and the mugs are brownish. One mug is off white. I thought I would mix it up so I said, NO...not four of the same. No, I'll go with three of the same. The small Chinese woman looked at me, I smiled and she smiled, seemingly agreeing with my choice and then she smacked my ass as she made her way to Lighting.

Nevermind.

So, the as is furniture was the goal- where I thought I'd find a new book case and maybe a coffee table. Two robust women smelled like old fruit and debated whether or not this one f'n shelf would make sense in their living room. I saw a coffee table and it was black, simple and I felt that with a little bit of black touch up paint, I'd be a good deal. And so I put it on the cart- kind of balancing it with the legs hanging off the sides. I bought the new waste basket and new bamboo sticks underneath. The carpet rested on top.

The book shelf would be interesting. And yes, I found one and it is tall. So I was like, let's do it Book Shelf and I picked it up. The shelves fell out and the two robust women looked at me- I smiled and placed the shelf on another cart that I think I stole from Returns. It was behind a chain, but in all fairness, the chain was on move able stanchions. So, mulligan?

Now the living room feels a lot different. I never really saw any thunderstorms yesterday, just a movie about an Egyptian who Meryl Streep has tortured in the name of Freedom. But I did enjoy the new look living room. It doesn't settle anything really, but it's a good temporary fix- a nice way to think about something else. Like how looking at the hot Spanish woman on TV is a good way to think about something else besides finishing this bl...