The sun is peeking out from the large clouds that are covering the city and the first seven songs on that new Radiohead album all have great intros.
I'm going to do errands.
Grown up errands- out returning gym shorts that are too large, picking up a new clothes hamper and shampoo and deodorant. Next door, they're showing the over-priced house to perspective buyers. I can see them through the window and wonder if they think the same thing I think about Radiohead...
It's no secret that November, the entire month, has trudged along. It's been either stuck in the mud, stuck in bed, or stuck in the dryer. I guess it's worth it and while I don't remember the past few months, dodgy specifics and dodgyier details aplenty, I know they were busy and so I guess this month, not being busy, is a nice change. I've gotten caught up on some shows, some periodicals, and some physical fitness. Last night I made red beans and rice and washed it down with Miller Lite...proof that while some things have changed, some things haven't.
Home on Tuesday night with the married coupe and Dugan in tow. When I get back, I'm hitting the ground running. I made this call last night and I'm going to stick with it. I fell asleep halfway through Casino Royale- only watching it finally because of Joey T's recommendation. When I woke up and stumbled down the stairs to bed, I thought of two things- my need to shave and my need to be active. So this morning I shaved and having not shaved in a few days, it was a little rough.
On shaving- I really don't like doing it, yet I like being clean shaven. I also like stubble at two days, but not at three. But I always end up shaving by day four, when shaving becomes a chore. So I don't want to do it and I put it off until maybe day five or six- when it's a real son of a bitch too shave, but by that point, slightly refined stubble has become an overgrown bush field and pain or no pain, it's time to clear-cut. It's a cycle, a vicious one. But it's one I live with because at this point in my life, I know I'm not going to shave two days in a row unless I absolutely have too. And at this point, I rarely absolutely have too.
But things could change.
People change, moods change. They change all the time. People with people incite changes and people by their lonesome incite change as well. A couple years ago, my last winter back in Maine, I was in a relationship that seemed to be defined by the changes we had both made previously to getting together. We were constantly reminded of the people we used to be and it was apparent, that we both missed those people and those cities- whether it was Baltimore, Boston, an island off the coast of Maine, or the East End in Portland. In pockets of time, things worked out and in that moment, it seemed like we were a happy couple. But ultimately, when feet are headed in different directions, hearts follow. Her feet went west, mine went south.
Thinking of that time and that relationship stopped me from heading out to do big boy errands and encouraged me to stay in, listening to this new Radiohead album, rubbing my freshly shaven face, and considering the fact that, maybe people don't change. Maybe just places change. It's entirely possible that after a certain age, we are who we are despite mood and clothes changes we might make.
But changing a place, that changes a person. Changing your location, the people you're around, the people you share a bed with. It's through theses alterations that we change as people and in no way is that a bad thing. It might be the only thing we have left to hold onto.
And if it is a bad thing, it's only because money is so damn tight, that changing locations has become difficult.
Which makes me also wonder, when do we start signing hobo songs and packing our belongings in hanker chiefs?
I'll think I'll look for a stick while I'm out.