Occupy My Confusion

I’m confused.

I’m confused this morning for a variety of reasons. For a hot minute, I thought I was troubled- but that was just a gestational reaction to dinner last night…which was delightful. But I’m confused about what’s going on right now in our country. It is not dismay and it is not outrage. It is just simple confusion. It is the kind of confusion that is not easily remedied. Unfortunately, for my confusion, there is not really an end in sight.

These Occupy Insert City Here movements are confusing- specifically what has happened the past few days, whether it’s the brutal gang-busting happening in Oakland and New York or the he said/she said back and forth that is happening in Philadelphia. Frankly I’ve been a little bit confused about these Occupy Movements from the get go. Now though, it’s just gotten weird.

It’s not going to end well, anywhere. It doesn’t matter what city, what government or what motley crew of protestors are involved. This just isn’t going to end well. There will be martyrs and victims and there will be more police beatings and news conferences where up-tighters in ties say that the situation has gotten out of control and there will be news conferences following these news conferences, where protesters refute the claims that lawlessness has crept into their occupations. What will be the final straw? A vicious snow storm? Maybe, but even that might not stop them and if anything, will probably result in one or two nunchucks weathering the storm and becoming folk heroes for doing so. A Phish tour? No, this isn’t the nineties. I don’t know what will happen; I just know it’s confusing the shit out of me.

And I’m confused about Tim Tebow. Really, an NFL quarterback threw eight times, only completing two passes and is now 3-1? I think Tebow is the Wildcat re-incarnated. He’s a fad and will be gone in two years unless someone can talk him into becoming a mega stud tight end/halfback hybrid. He’s not a quarterback. Tom Brady is a quarterback.

I’m confused that the Phillies, a team that for two years in a row had their seasons end because they couldn’t get a hit to save them, opened the off season by throwing down fifty million dollars for a closer. Now I know that this closer is Jonathan Papelbon and I think Pap will be great in Philly- but I had the same reaction to the Pap signing as I did with the Cliff Lee signing- can he hit? I just don’t get it. I think Phillies’ GM Ruben Amaro has patience issues. He would be wise to heed the advice Arnold Rothstein gave Nucky Thompson in this week’s Boardwalk Empire- chill out some.

I’m not confused that J. Edgar wasn’t as good as I hoped. I’m disappointed.

Coldplay is confusing. It feels like I shouldn’t like them, but I do. Their new album is a great. It’s a big, international rock n roll album…and it has Rhianna on it. Bonus. I have no idea what Mylo whatever means- the title of the album, and I don’t care. I like Chris Martin’s voice. I also feel that their drummer has the easiest gig in music.

Republicans have me confused. Have you seen Herman Cain’s latest interview, talking about Libya? And that dude is a front-runner, despite being accused of numerous accounts of sexual harassment. And if the whole thing wasn’t a joke already, it’s now getting even worse- Newt Gingrich is supposedly making a run now. You guys know he’s a dick right? You know he’s a liar and would be a terrible president right? You know you should just cut your losses and support Mitt, right? I just don’t get it.

I’m confused by the weather- but happy that flip flops aren’t totally out of my life yet.

I’m confused that I can have five bars and the little 3G logo on my phone, but still can’t get current fantasy football scores.

I’m confused about the NBA situation- specifically confused about who put the people in charge in those positions.

However, there is one thing I am not confused, dismayed, outraged or befuddled about.

I am perfectly cool with the socks I have on. I love them. And on a day like today, that’s enough.

Happy Birthday Future Wife.